𝗕𝗲 𝗮 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗦𝗼 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲

My next book, Silent Strength: The Introvert's Guide to Building Successful Startups, is a practical guide that empowers introverted entrepreneurs to harness their natural strengths, lead authentically, and succeed in the startup world. To provide a complete picture, I also explore how extroverts can leverage their personality traits for success. This post is part of my learning.

"The most meaningful way to succeed

is to help others succeed.”

— Adam Grant

What if the biggest performance gap on your team is silence?

Many introverts hold insights that could transform projects, yet those insights go unheard, lost in noisy meetings or fast-moving conversations. The problem isn’t ability, it’s environment. When teams mistake quiet for disengagement or confidence for volume, they miss opportunities for innovation, empathy, and excellence.

Being a champion for introverts means bringing everyone forward. Introverts can enhance work through their attention to detail, organizational skills, persistence, and ability to work deeply to solve complex problems and propose groundbreaking solutions. While extroverts can certainly demonstrate these traits too, introverts often excel in these areas and genuinely enjoy them when allowed to work with autonomy and authenticity.

This post shows how to recognize, empower, and amplify the quieter voices that help teams think more deeply, decide more wisely, and sustain success over time.

At Events

Giving introverts a specific role at events can help them feel more comfortable. For example, asking them to be a greeter allows them to meet and talk with many people while focusing on a structured task. However, certain roles, like being the photographer, enable them to avoid conversation entirely.

If you see people standing alone but making eye contact, walk up and introduce yourself. Consider lowering your tone and enthusiasm just a notch, as that person may be shy, oversensitive, and/or completely uncomfortable. But don’t be patronizing. You both can learn from each other, so please, take that risk first.

Author Alan Weiss recounts an interview with James Carville, the Democratic strategist, who was talking about Bill Clinton's charisma: "When Clinton entered a room, he looked for the people who were most uncomfortable in that environment, who maybe felt intimidated. He made a beeline to them to start chatting, making them feel worthy and comfortable." That's an admirable goal.*

When you notice people at the edges of an event, whether through their body language or physical location in the room, consider introducing them to others who share common interests. You can also pair introverted guests with more outgoing ones who will help get the conversation started. Your superpower is helping others feel at ease.

Right after events, you may be so excited that you want to join a group of friends or head to a crowded bar or restaurant to enjoy people’s company some more. An introvert, however, likely needs to recharge alone or be with someone close.

In Meetings

Share the agenda and solicit written input (ideas, thoughts, questions, and concerns) before the meeting. Be clear on your objective(s) and desired results for your time together. During meetings, ensure everyone has a chance to contribute. For new group sessions, begin with introductions. For recurring meetings, start with brief updates from each person. If in-meeting participation like this proves challenging, create a shared document where members can provide concise input.

At the start of the meeting, inform everyone that people contribute in different ways. Set clear expectations for a collaborative environment where everyone supports one another. Even if someone may disagree with an idea, that’s fine, but recognize that it was offered in the spirit of collaboration.

As the meeting leader, focus on maximizing the group's potential by considering each person's strengths and possible roles. When someone remains quiet, try engaging them with questions like "Am I making sense?" or "I'd love to hear your valuable insights" or "You have the best ideas, what you are your thoughts".

For those who prefer not to speak up, alternative contributions can include taking notes, keeping time, or handling follow-up tasks. You can also contribute comments or thoughts they've shared with you before the meeting by saying gently, "Did I capture that correctly?"

While you may get excited in group settings, for the team's benefit, remember to pause and share speaking time with others. You may also need to gently moderate more talkative participants to ensure that quieter team members can fully contribute. The ideal role in running a meeting isn't to "own the room" but to "be part of the room." The best facilitators listen, understand, and navigate different personalities to foster collaboration, innovation, and productivity.

When forming smaller breakout groups, consider pairing people with complementary strengths and different personalities. A small group will be more comfortable for introverts. After the meeting, email everyone and ask for feedback on how it went, what could be better, and what ideas are under-rated and over-rated. You may get some striking opinions from people who spoke the least.

One-on-one

Just as every extrovert is unique, every introvert is too. Some of us are shy and some are gregarious. Some of us are soft-spoken and some are incredibly animated on podcasts. Some of us need a minute to process our thoughts and others need a full sleep cycle. Some of us may appear to be silently judging, but it’s likely we’re only thoughtfully processing.

I spoke with an extrovert who shared that most introverts start talking and may have more to say but may need a few seconds to gather their thoughts. Sometimes, a pause is powerful. It allows the other person to think and you to consider a follow-up question to push a conversation deeper. As an extrovert, you may be tempted to fill that pause immediately without thinking. Instead, try to slow down the conversation.

While some may enjoy small talk, others find these deeper questions more engaging:

• What excites you right now? 

• What is something incredible about you that even some of your friends don't realize?

• What’s the best thing that happened to you last/this year?    

• What are you looking forward to?  

• What do you do for fun?   

As an extrovert, you'll likely initiate the conversation and keep things flowing at first (e.g., "Tell me more about that!"). With luck, the other person will become more engaged. If you're not feeling a connection, that's perfectly fine. Before ending the chat, ask if they'd like to meet anyone else in the room, and you could help make that introduction.

When interacting with people you know well, you may wonder how to best connect and collaborate. Directly asking for their guidance on problem-solving, management, or communication can be incredibly valuable, especially if you share that you are confused and want to do better. Leading with vulnerability is often reciprocated.

Note: While some people can't stand silence, others find comfort and joy in quiet companionship. If someone prefers to share space without conversation, and if that's alright with you, then it's worth exploring different ways of connecting. Some extroverts feel uncomfortable or even hurt by silence, but this is an introvert's natural state. Meeting an introvert in silence may be halfway across the bridge of understanding.

Finally, please remember there is a difference between helping someone reach their own goals and assuming they want the same things you do. You can discover this difference simply by asking how you can help.

How Extroverted Leaders Can Benefit from Introverts

"Introverts seem to be specifically wired

so when they catch themselves getting excited

and focused on a goal, their vigilance increases."

— Joseph Newman

Extroverted leaders have the opportunity to achieve greater results by drawing on the strengths of introverts within their organizations.

Introverts elevate team performance through their exceptional listening skills, patience, and commitment to understanding issues from multiple perspectives, which ensures more balanced and inclusive decisions. Their contributions tend to be thoughtful and well considered, often leading to innovative solutions and helping teams avoid the pitfalls of rushing into decisions.

In high-pressure scenarios, introverts remain composed and logical, calming group dynamics and steering efforts toward steady problem-solving. Their stabilizing presence grounds teams, especially in fast-paced or high-energy environments, and their capacity for deep analysis brings long-term, strategic thinking to the table. By focusing on thoroughness and detail, introverts help prevent important nuances and risks from being overlooked. Their ability to sense and respond to the needs and feelings of others fosters a collaborative and supportive team culture.

Most importantly, their preference for deep, focused work drives persistent innovation and effective execution, qualities that, while sometimes underestimated, are crucial catalysts for lasting organizational success.

Introverts are often exceptional listeners, taking time to fully understand issues before responding. This patience encourages diverse viewpoints to be considered and usually leads to more balanced, inclusive decisions. By offering well-considered ideas, introverts help teams avoid hasty choices and uncover innovative solutions.

They also typically remain calm and logical during stressful situations, helping teams navigate challenges without escalating tension. Their capacity for deep work leads to innovation, problem-solving, and tenacious persistence. While these traits might seem boring in some ways, they can be powerful catalysts for business success.

Their steady demeanor serves as a grounding force, especially when extroverted leaders are managing high-energy or rapidly changing environments. Introverts excel at deep analysis and long-term thinking, balancing the quick, action-oriented approach of extroverts and leading to more robust strategies. While extroverts may be highly reward-sensitive and eager to act, introverted partners can slow down the process and help avoid potential problems. While sometimes you need to move fast, many times a rash decision replaces one problem with a new, bigger problem.

Consider the story of Pets.com. In 1999, they rushed to dominate the pet supplies market by pouring millions into brand recognition campaigns and slashing prices below cost to accelerate customer growth. In January 2000, they aired a high-profile commercial during Super Bowl XXXIV, costing the company approximately $1.2 million. Their initial problem of slow customer acquisition quickly transformed into massive financial losses. By late 2000, Pets.com had burned through its funding and declared bankruptcy, illustrating how a hasty solution to one challenge created a fatal crisis.

The real measure of a team is how well every member contributes, learns, and helps the startup grow. The teams that win over time cherish each person’s talents, encourage people to challenge ideas (mitigating risk), and recognize that the best insights often emerge from unexpected places. By creating a work culture that endures beyond any one personality or role, you increase your chances for success.

Key Takeaway: When introverts and extroverts recognize and value each other's unique abilities and strengths, their partnership becomes a powerful engine for startup success.

Skills Developer: Share this post with someone on the opposite end of the introvert/extrovert spectrum from you. Plan to talk next week and bring 2-3 points each. Though the conversation may feel awkward at first, it will end up being rewarding. Saying something sincere and vulnerable often does.

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I wrote this post with AI editing. Photo by Athena Sandrini.

* Alan Weiss, Million Dollar Consulting: The Professional’s Guide to Growing a Practice, 6th ed. (New York: McGraw-Hill Education, 2021).

What if the quietest person in the room is the one that changes the world?

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