𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲: 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸, 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆

My next book, Silent Strength: The Introvert's Guide to Building Successful Startups, is a practical guide that empowers introverted entrepreneurs to harness their natural strengths, lead authentically, and succeed in the startup world. To provide a complete picture, I also explore how extroverts can leverage their personality traits for success. This post is part of my learning.

“Empathy begins with understanding life

from another person’s perspective.

Nobody has an objective experience of reality.

It’s all through our own individual prisms.”

— Sterling K. Brown

If you consider yourself an extrovert, you may have found that it’s hard to understand introverts. I once had a manager get concerned when I took five minutes to be by myself after hours in group activities. Back then, I didn’t have the words to explain how I operate best and that those five minutes could improve my work for hours.

Introverts work differently because of personality differences as well as deeper psychological and neurological factors. Empathy can be practiced and developed, and this post will hopefully encourage that path.

Extroverts gain energy from social interaction, while introverts are recharged by solitude and quiet reflection. Extroverts often see value in constant interaction, small talk, and group activities, while introverts seek depth, meaningful conversations, and may value silent co-presence or personal space.

These fundamental differences mean that extroverts may see socializing as invigorating or restorative and could have a harder time understanding that an introvert’s need for space is not a lack of interest but rather a fundamental need for recharging and maintaining well-being. We mean no disrespect if we need time alone.

Extroverts tend to be direct, verbal, and comfortable with sharing thoughts openly, while introverts often prefer subtlety, reflection, and may take longer to respond as they process information more deeply. They also may find it hard to read introverts’ cues or understand their need for silence, sometimes interpreting quietness as disinterest or discomfort.

Extroverts often assume that how someone acts in public is a true reflection of their personality at all times. They may not realize that introverts behave differently with close friends versus strangers, and that their “best selves” are often reserved for trusted relationships. When introverts want to recharge, it’s not by going to another group activity like an extrovert may want.

The brains of introverts and extroverts process stimuli differently. Introverts have a longer neural pathway for processing, involving areas related to memory and problem-solving, which makes them more thoughtful but slower to react in social situations. Extroverts, on the other hand, process stimuli through a shorter, more sensory-focused pathway, making them more responsive and comfortable with quick, external engagement.

Neurochemically, introverts are more sensitive to acetylcholine (linked to focus and reflection), while extroverts are more sensitive to dopamine (linked to reward and external stimulation).* This means what feels invigorating to an extrovert can be overwhelming to an introvert, and vice versa.

Many societies reward extroverted behaviors—outspokenness, sociability, and quick responses—while undervaluing the strengths of introverts, such as deep thinking, listening, and careful planning. These expectations can lead to misunderstandings and pressure for introverts to adapt to extroverted norms, making their natural functioning less visible, underappreciated, and frustrating.

When you first meet, introverts may appear aloof, judgmental, and distant, which can feel off-putting. When you talk with an introvert, you may discover that they were hesitant to meet you in the first place. Not because they aren't warm and eager to know you better. Extroverts may struggle to understand introverts because their own experiences of energy, communication, and connection are fundamentally different.

Working with Introverted Founders

“Collaboration begins with mutual understanding and respect.”

— Ron Garan

When extroverted and introverted founders collaborate effectively, their complementary strengths spark powerful results. Extroverts thrive in outward-facing roles like networking, sales, and public relations, allowing introverts to dedicate themselves to strategy, deep work, and thoughtful decision-making. This dynamic can enable extroverts to energize teams and unify group efforts, while introverts contribute careful planning and processes.

Extroverts also encourage necessary risk-taking, motivating teams to pursue new markets and innovate at every turn. Introverts may organize those experiments to clearly determine outcomes and to carefully mitigate risks. By blending their skills, startups enjoy broad visibility, innovation, and solid fundamentals.

Understanding another person's inner world is never simple; but what if the quiet surface of an introvert isn't a barrier but an invitation? Introverts are often brimming with curiosity and open to connection. Their approach may be quieter, more deliberate, and less immediate than what extroverts are used to, but it’s no less genuine or rewarding.

Sometimes, the most meaningful relationships begin not with a burst of conversation but with a shared moment of silence, a thoughtful question, or the patience to let ideas and insights unfold naturally. If you're willing to meet introverts where they are, you will discover a connection that's more meaningful and far more enduring than you ever expected.

Key Takeaway: When both personality types appreciate and leverage each other’s strengths, startups are better positioned for sustainable growth and innovation.

Skills Developer: If you're an introvert, please share this with one person who has identified themselves as an extrovert. If you're an extrovert, determine one lesson or insight that you can apply going forward.

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I wrote this post with AI editing. Photo by Kelly.

* Sources include Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength by Laurie A. Helgoe, and Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert M. Sapolsky.

What if the quietest person in the room is the one that changes the world?

Build Scale Grow solves problems for fast-growing startups, specializing in Social Impact, EdTech, and Health Tech and focusing on Introverted Founders.

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